Ek Ladaka (Pathan Se): Main Agar Chahu To Tamam Pathanon Ko Jannat Se Nikal Kar Jahnum Men La Sakta Hu! Pathan: Kaise? Ladaka: Main Jahnum Men Naswar Ki Dukan Kholunga!
Pathan: Yaara Aaj Hamne Ek Aise Jabardast Khana Banaya Hai Tum Khush Ho Jaoge! Dost: O Khan Sahab Kya Banaya Hai? Pathan: Naswar Gosht!
Pathan: Mis Aapne Mujhe Mis Kaul Ki Thi Kya Kam Tha Mujhse? Techer: Maine To Kaul Nahin Ki! Pathan: To Fir Mere Mobile Pe Cu Likha Tha 'Ek Mis Kaul'!
Aadmi: Khan Sahab Yaha Se Clifton Kaun Si Bas Jaati Hai? Pathan: 20 Nambar Wali! Aadmi: Agar 20 Nambar Wali N Mile To? Pathan: Fir 1010 Ki Do Pakad Lena!
Pathan Ko Ek Anjan Nambar Se Masaj Aaya! Usane Apane Sab Doston Se Vo Maisej Peper Pe Likhvaya Magar Kyon? Sabki Likhavat Maisej Ki Likhavat Se Mach Karne Ke Liye!
Ek Chor Pathan Ka Mobile Lekar Bhag Gaya! Pathan Hansne Laga! Dost: Vo Tumhara Mobile Lekar Bhaga Aur Tum Hans Rahe Ho! Pathan: Bhagane Do Charjar To Mere Pas Hai!
Ek Baar Ek Pathan Sicil Par Gun Gunata Hua Ja Raha Tha! Raste Men Usane Ek Aurat Ko Sicil Se Mar Diya! Aurat: Andhe Ho Kya Brak Nahin Mar Sakte The? Pathan: Pura Sicil Maar Diya Ab Brak Marne Se Kya Fayda!
Jo Ek Galti Kare Vo Anjan; Jo Do Galti Kare Vo Nadan; Jo Tin Galti Kare Wo Shaitan; Jo Galtiyon Par Galtiyan Kare Vo Pathan!
Pathan (Doctor Se): Dudh Pine Se Rang Gora Hota Hai Kya? Doctor: Ha Dudh Men Calcium Hota Hai Isliye! Pathan: Achchha To Fir Bhains Ka Bachcha Kyon Kala Hai?
Doctor: Ye Sirap 2 Chammach Subah 2 Chammach Dophar 2 Chammach Raat Ko 3 Din Tak Lene Hai! Pathan: Apna Davai Apne Paas Rakho Hamara Ghar Men Itna Chammach Nahin Hai!
Pathan (Apni Patni Se): Begam Munne Ne Cockroch Kha Liya! Patni: Haay Rabba Jaldi Doctor Ko Bulaao! Pathan: To Tention N Le Maine Munne Ko Mortin Pila Di Hai!