The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling!
Husband says to wife: my olympic condoms have arrived... i think i'll wear gold tonight. wife: why not wear silver and come second for a change!
Husband is praying before going to bed. wife: what are you praying for? husband: for guidance. wife: pray for hardness. leave guidance to me!
Last night, i told my husband, we should try some role reversal in bed. and the bastard said he had a headache!
Pappu meets his father in red light area. pappu: papa aap yahan? father: bus beta ab 200-300 rs ki cheez k liye teri maa k nakhre nahi sahe jate.
A man was charged with necrophilia (having sex with a dead woman). the judge said; i havn't seen such disgusting case in 20 years. can you give me one good reason why you did it? man: i can give 3 reasons.it' non of ur business, she was my wife and i didn't know she was dead as she always acted like that.
Man teases his ex-wife`s new husband: so, dude how was the second-hand stuff? new husband: not bad. after the first 3 inches, she was brand new.
Q: what's the grossest thing in the world? a: waking up after a night of oral sex with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth!
Why can't a man satisfy a woman completely? because he doesn't have a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash!
A mobile is like a woman: talks non-stop; costs a fortune; disturbs when u r busy; and when u need it urgently, there's no service.