Wife: How much do u love me? Husband: 78.125 % Wife: Why not 100 % ? Husband: 28% GST on luxurious items!
I don't have any problem when my wife talks for hours with her parents. Problem starts when she says, `Ek Minute, Inse Baat Karo`!
In married life, since the husband can't talk in a high pitch with his wife in the conscious state; God empowered him with a unique skill set, enabling him to keep his voice at the highest decibel in an unconscious state, called as Snoring! This is called balanced Act of God! Ghurrrr... Ghurrrr...
Friend 1: Why is your eye swollen? Friend 2: It was my wife's birthday yesterday and I bought her a cake. Friend 1: But how did your eye get swollen? Friend 2: Her name is Tapasya... but that cake shop idiot wrote "Happy Birthday Samasya"!
Husband: Kahan Ja Rahi Ho? Wife: Nahane! Husband: Mobile Le Kar? Wife: Toh Balti Bharne Tak Kya Karu?
Wife: Kya Yahan-Wahan Ghoom Rahe Ho... Ja Kar Blue Whale Game Khel Lo. Husband: Main Bacchpan Se Khel Raha Hun. Tumse Shaadi Mera Last Task Tha!
If you think Mayweather vs. McGregor was a big fight, wait until my wife finds out I just paid $100 to watch it!
A woman went into a hunting store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she explained. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the store assistant. Woman: Are you kidding? He doesn't even know I'm going to shoot him!
On their first day home after the honeymoon, the husband said: "If you make the toast and pour the juice, breakfast will be ready." Wife: Oh how thoughtful? What are we having? Husband: Toast and juice!
I tried to play 'Blue Whale'. It prompted me for marital status & gender. I entered married & male. It flashed the message: "You've already completed the final task. You can't play the game again"!
A man drained all the water from his swimming pool. Wife: Why did you do that? Husband: I want to practice diving but I can't swim!