A newly married couple were happy with the whole thing. he was happy with the hole and she was happy with the thing!
1st night: wife: please, not today. let's celebrate our honeymoon only after we understand each other. husband: my 'under' is already 'standing' for you!
A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet and not her eyes. a wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard and not his life.
Q: if you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? a: most likely, divorce proceedings.
A woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. he glared at her lover and bellowed, "what are you doing?" "there," said the wife, didn't i tell you he was stupid?"
In usa when couples go to bed they say, "good night my love"! in uk, they say, "sweet dreams, darling"! in india, it's generally said, "kundi lagai?" (bolted the door?)
A daughter-in-law and mother-in-law were engaged in a verbal spat. mother-in-law: i have carried him for 9 months. daughter-in-law: only 3.5 kgs? i carry him every night and he weighs 80 kgs now.
What do you call a group of people where 2 people are thinking of sex and all other are thinking of food and drinks? . .. ... a wedding!
An old man married a young girl. on the wedding night, he showed five fingers to his wife. wife: ooh.. darling! 5 times? old man: no dear, choose which one you prefer to start with!
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. after all, i'm a libra and she's a bitch!