Two guys are walking thru the woods when they see a charging grizzly bear. first guy says "run for it!" second guy says, "you can't outrun a grizzly!" first guy says "i don't have to outrun the bear, i just have to outrun you."
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. they talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. they get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. the man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. he turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love. after an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "well, how was it?" the woman says, "you can have any prize from the bottom shelf."
Once upon a time their was three bears. they decide to take a walk in the woods as their porridge cools. when they get back they are surprised. daddy bear said "who's been eating my porridge" mummy bear said "who's been eating my porridge" baby bear said "never mind about the porridge who's nicked the tv"