A nun and a priest were crossing the sahara desert on a camel. on the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. after dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. after a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "well sister, this looks pretty grim." "i know, father." "in fact, i don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "i agree." "sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "anything father." "i have never seen a woman's breasts and i was wondering if i might see yours." "well, under the circumstances i don't see that it would do any harm." the nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "sister would you mind if i touched them?" she consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "father, could i ask something of you?" "yes sister?" "i have never seen a man's penis. could i see yours?" "i supposed that would be ok," the priest replied lifting his robe. "oh father, may i touch it?" this time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "sister, you know that if i insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "is that true father?" "yes it is, sister." "then why don't you stick it up that camel's ass and lets get the hell out of here."
An englishman an irishman and a scotsman were in the sweltering desert walking around look896Ing desperatly for something to eat and drink, when, as if out of nowhere, a camel appeared. the englishman caught the camel and spluttered i support "liverpool, so i suppose i better eat the liver." the scotsman immediately shouted, "well i support hearts so i'll eat the heart." and then the rather mentally challenged irishman said, "i support arsenal, but i don't feel hungry any more."
A lion walked into a bar and demanded a beer. but the bartender said, "i'm sorry, sir, we don't serve lions." then the lion said, "give me a beer, you stupid idiot." and the bartender said, "i'm sorry, we don't serve rude lions." then the lion shouted, "give me a beer, you stupid idiot." and the bartender said, "i'm sorry, we don't serve rude, angry lions." then the lion said, "ok, if you don't give me a beer, i'm going to eat that girl over there." but the bartender said, "go ahead. i'm still not going to serve you." so the lion went over and ate the girl. then he came back and said, "right, you idiot, now give me a beer." but the bartender said, "i'm sorry, we don't serve rude, angry lions that are on drugs." the lion said, "hey! i'm not on drugs!" "well," said the bartender, "you are now. that was a bar junkie you ate."