Santa, while driving home, met with an accident after getting drunk and became unconscious. Soon after waking up, he muttered, "Where am I? Where am I?" Nurse: This is number 231. Santa: Room or cell?
Santa to a fellow Delhi Metro passenger, "Pardon me, when does Connaught Place station arrive?" Fellow Passenger: Just watch me get off one station after you do. Santa: Thank you!
Santa: Is this tea or coffee? It tastes exactly like kerosene. Waiter: If it tastes like kerosene, it's positively tea - because our coffee tastes like turpentine!
A tourist stopped his car on the road and asked Santa as to how far it was to Bhathinda. Santa replied, "It's 24,999 miles the way you're going, but if you turn around it ain't but four!
Banta: It's absurd for this man to charge us 500 bucks for towing us three miles. Santa: That's all right; he's earning it - I have my brakes on!
Santa: I live with 'Fear' every day. Banta: Is it that bad? Santa: It is - but sometimes 'She' allows me to go to the bar!