Santa: What did you do with the money you robbed from the bank? Banta: I deposited it in the same bank!
Santa: I've come back to buy the car I was looking at yesterday. Salesman: Fine. Now tell me, what was the one dominating thing that made you buy this car? Santa: My wife!
Santa: I've finally found the true meaning of Xmas. Banta: And what is it? Santa: It's for people who can't spell Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Santa: My wife converted me to religion. Banta: Really? Santa: Yes. Until I married her, I didn't believe in Hell!
Doctor: Your heavy drinking is making you paranoid. When did you have your last drink? Santa: What do you mean, last?