Husband marte waqt biwi se:”almari se tera gold set maine chori kia tha.!! . . . . biwi rote hue:”koi baat nai ji . . . . husband:”tere bhai ne tujhe amant di thi 1 lakh wo b maine ghayb kiya.! . . . . biwi:”mene aapko maaf kiya.! . . . . husband:”teri kameti k paise bhi mene hi chori kiye the! . . . . . . biwi:”koi baat nai ji, appko zaher bhi maine hi diya hai..:’((
Husband and wife were waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. a blind man joins them after a few minutes. when the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. so the husband and the blind man decide to walk. after a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, “why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? that ticking sound is driving me crazy.” the blind man replies, “if you would’ve put a rubber at the end of your stick, we’d be riding the bus..! so shut the fuck up !!” pogo hai bosss :p
Wife: janu kaash aap msg hote, main apko save karti, jab chahe padhti. husband:- kanjus ki kanjus hi rahogi…, save hi karogi, apni kisi saheli ko forward nahi karogi:p
Mom called me and said she is coming tomorrow. her train will reach by morning 4:00 o’clock. wife: what !!! she came just 4 months back only, right? why is she coming now again..? tomorrow is sunday. i thought of getting up late but your mom had to come on a sunday itself and that too morning 4:00 o’clock. where will she get an auto at that time? i will not make any warm breakfast…she will have to do with biscuits and bread. the kids will also not go to play as she spoils them by getting chocolates, toffees and pastries for them. how many days is she going to stay..???? husband: not my mom, your mom is coming!!!! wife: wow!!…really! ! great mom is coming. it’s been more than 2 months i have seen her.listen na..i have the number of the auto driver…please call him and tell him to reach the station on time tomorrow morning. it’s good tomorrow is sunday, i will get up early and make breakfast of upma and idli. she will get cakes and cookies for the kids and they will play and enjoy with their grandmother. hope she stays for a fortnight.
Man outside phone booth : excuse me !! you are holding the phone since 20 mins. & haven’t spoken a word.. man inside – sir . . . . . . i’m talking to my wife :d =d =))
Phone baja… husband: agar phone mere liye ho to kehna main ghar pe nahi hu. . . . wife: woh ghar pe hain.. . husband: mene mana kiya tha na, mana kar dena.. . wife: phone aapka nahi mera tha…:p :o :d :d samajh me aa gya ho to like karo :d baki sab pogo dekho..
Wife : it’s my bad luck day i married you ! otherwise lots of smart boys were interested in me :/ . . . husband : of course they must be smart : dats y they escaped from you :p
Newly wed bahu -maaji, kal raat meri unse ladaai ho gayi…. . . . . . saas-koi baat nahi ye to pati patni ke beech hota hi hai.. . . . . . bahu-wo to thik hai par ab laash ka kya karu??
Husband: aaj khana tumhari maane banaya hai ? . . . . . . . . . wife: haan par apko kaise pata chala? . . . . . . . husband: roz khaney mein kaaly baal milte hain aur aaj sufaid mila hai.. :d
Ek car ki nilami ho rahi thi, 10 lac 20 lac 30 lac ek aadmi ne car ki khrab halat pe gor kiya to pas khare aadmi se pucha :- . . is car me esi kon si khoobi hai k iske itna daam lag rahe hai? . . aadmi :- ab tak is car k 10 hadse hue hai or har haadse me sirf or sirf”biwi” ki hi maut hui hai. - - aadmi :- 40 lakh :-) :d
Ek aadmi ne apni wife ko khat likha, “is mahine salary ke badle 100 kiss bhej raha hun” . . wife ne jawab diya, ‘aap ke salary ke badle 100 kiss milay, . . hisab bhej rahi hun. doodh wala 2 kiss main hi maan gaya, . . teacher ko 7 deni padi, . sabzi wala 7 mein nahi mana toh 9 dene pade, . kiryane wala 9 kiss se nahi mana, usko 5 aur di, . makaan malik toh roz 6-7 ley hi jaata hai, . aap chinta mat karna, mere pass approx 35 aur hai, yeh mahina aaram se kat jayega.:p :d
Wife: main galti se khane ke sath rumaal bhi khaa gai…. husband: koi baat nahi apna bacha hoga to pagdi pehan ke aayega..